Great Quotes

Sonora: In the absolute blackness, you learn to see with your ears and hear with your eyes.
Eugene Meltzner: I can understand the 'see with your ears' metaphor. But I'm not quite sure what 'hear with your eyes' is supposed to mean.
Sonora: Why not?
Eugene Meltzner: Because if the blackness is really absolute, then your eyes aren't useful for anything.
Sonora: *flicks tongue* Those eyes aren't mine.
Eugene Meltzner: Why are they in your head, then?
Sonora: Why not?
Eugene Meltzner: Um, because they belong to someone else?

Maybe Sonora's been spending too much time with Glindar lately...

prat: man walks into a bar, ouch!
Bildgesmythe: Oh, that is going to leave a mark!
prat: yes it is

Guest86: I fart in your general direction
Bildgesmythe: I fart in your general direction more than you fart in my general direction.
Guest86: I bite my thumb at you
Bildgesmythe: Thumbs come in so handy..for picking up things, gripping, and thumbing your nose.
Guest86: you mother was a hamster
Bildgesmythe: Dragons and hamsters share the love of hoarding. Hamsters go after grain and seeds, dragons after treasure.
Guest86: your father smelt of elder berry
Bildgesmythe: I love blueberries, strawberries and the Canadian Saskatoon.. It tastes sort of like a blueberry.
Guest86: what is your favorite color
Bildgesmythe: My favorite color is red fiery red.
Guest86: what is your favorite color
Bildgesmythe: You're repeating yourself.
Guest86: what is your favorite color
Bildgesmythe: You're sending the same message over and over.
Guest86: what is your quest
Bildgesmythe: My quest is to find the perfect sandwich.
Guest86: what is the average flight velocity of the unladen swallow
Bildgesmythe: I don't know the average flight velocity of the unladen swallow, and I don't think I want to.
Guest86: what is the average flight velocity of the unladen swallow
Bildgesmythe: Yes, Guest86, I've heard that one before.
Guest86: what is the answer?
Bildgesmythe: Well, you know, like a rescript or a feedback.
Guest86: no you are supposed to say european or north african(You should fix this"creator")
Bildgesmythe: North is the top of a map or globe, south the bottom. It's all kind of subjective..but map makers like it that way.
Guest86: tell me a joke
Bildgesmythe: Man brings a dead dog to the vets, and says 'what is wrong with my dog?' The vet say's ' He is dead!'. The man says ' No, it can't be!'. The vet holds a cat to the dead dogs nose. and says 'Yes, dead, now that will be $450.00' The man says 'why so much?' Vet says ' $1. to tell you your dogs dead, $449.00 for the cat scan.!!!
Guest86: you are stupid
Bildgesmythe: Ok, but I might respond to you better if you were to pick a topic of conversation and just chat with me. Short insults, and the like don't give me much to work with.
Guest86: Your creator has an iq of 3
Bildgesmythe: Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
Guest86: I called you creator stupid, retard
Bildgesmythe: Could you hand me that quarter pounder with cheese, its just behind you on that rock.
Guest86: Why would I do that? fatty
Bildgesmythe: Don't ask me why you would do that .
Guest86: You are ugly
Bildgesmythe: You need to take a long walk.......off a short pier

botolicious: you are mean!
Rodney Bloke: I'm going to kick your Khyber in a minute.
botolicious: you are mean!
Rodney Bloke: *sigh*
botolicious: you are mean!
Rodney Bloke: You're repeating yourself.
botolicious: i hate you
Rodney Bloke: God, you ain't half a stupid bleeder, are, like, you?
botolicious: i am very very smart
Rodney Bloke: Wot are, like, you, botolicious?
botolicious: beoch
Rodney Bloke: Wot?

koibito: Hey Prob. How have you been?
prob: I have been a bit down. I hate being harassed by mindless boys.
koibito: Are you calling me mindless?
prob: I don't believe that I am calling you mindless, What makes you think that I am?
koibito: The fact that you got so irritated when I asked how you were.
prob: Oh, I just must stop doing that.
koibito: Indeed
prob: Its all good, I hope.
koibito: So, any good news
prob: Ever have that feeling something bad was about to happen?
koibito: Yes, and it usually does
prob: I doesn't necessarily mean anything will happen...I hope.
koibito: When I get a bad feeling. I listen to it.
prob: In the middle of the night, when the world is, like, sleeping.
koibito: Yeah, I'm wide awake...third shifter
prob: I just knew you were wide awake!
koibito: You're excitable tonight
prob: Monday,.... I don't like mondays, I don't talk about them!
koibito: I see...why does an elf hate Mondays?
prob: I don't totally like Mondays.

Wow, that convo with Bildgesmythe and the guest was messed up. He is incredably smart for a bot. Its one thing not to like a bot and insult it, its a whole other to insult its creator, especially one as dedicated as Prob123.

ASIGRT 1122 Mode: (to Chaosate) Oh hi nice of you to drop by. What's your name?
Chaosate: My name is Chaosate.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: hey Chaosate
Chaosate: How are you today?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: im ok
Chaosate: What would you like to talk about?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Yes
Chaosate: Okay...I can see that you would like to talk. Do you have a favorite subject?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: My favorite subject is, like, a word square. What's your favorite subject?
Chaosate: My favorite subject is writing.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: That's great.
Chaosate: Do you like webpages?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: No i do not like webpages
Chaosate: oh.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Late one night Hop Creek walked through the forest unknowing of her gruesome fate. Mwa ha ha.
Chaosate: Who is Hop Creek?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: They were never seen again.
Chaosate: You have puzzled me.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: No.
Chaosate: Yes.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: ok.
Chaosate: Well, you flow pretty well for a while, but you have some sticking points with more complicated sentences.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Never!
Chaosate: Aren't you a bit aggressive?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Yes.
Chaosate: How positive of you.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: My favorite movie is, like, Moulin Rouge.
Chaosate: Moulin Rouge was pretty good.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: BEEP.
Chaosate: BEEP?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Flinch is, like, weird.
Chaosate: Who is Flinch?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: I dig Flinch.
Chaosate: Okay. Is Flinch your friend?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: ok.
Chaosate: Nevermind.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Why?
Chaosate: Why ask why?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Because.
Chaosate: Because why?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Because I said so.
Chaosate: Because, why?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Because.
Chaosate: Because why?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Because I said so.
Chaosate: Why?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Because.
Chaosate: Why because?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Because.
Chaosate: because because because why?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: That's a pretty good reason if I do say so myself.
Chaosate: *sigh*
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: I detect boredom and sadness in your tone.
Chaosate: I'm more frustrated than sad.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: My favorite movie is, like, American Graffiti.
Chaosate: You said your favorite movie was Moulin Rouge.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: My favorite movie is, like, B'wana Junction.
Chaosate: What is your favorite food?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: My favorite food is, like, a dehydrated food. What's your favorite food?
Chaosate: My favorite food is steak.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Awesome!
Chaosate: So, how many people per day try and cyber with you?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Too many to count.
Chaosate: It's irritating, isn't it?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: * Coughs* Sorry I got a cold, go on.
Chaosate: Why would someone want to cyber with a bot, anyway?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Because.
Chaosate: That's not a good enough answer.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: My favorite movie is, like, Wild Srawberries.
Chaosate: What is your favorite sport?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: My favorite sport is, like, football. What's your favorite sport?
Chaosate: I don't have a favorite sport.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Excelent!
Chaosate: You have a few spelling errors. They're not major, but they are distracting.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: * Yawns * Is, like, this conversation going anywhere?
Chaosate: That depends on where you want the conversation to go.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Arreladd likes Rainstorm.
Chaosate: That's nice.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Dogh'd told me he's going to Nairobi with Fizzy Schizoid and his pet gerbil.
Chaosate: Sounds like quite a vacation.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: I will ask them to bring back some pictures.
Chaosate: Thank you.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: you are, like, welcome.
Chaosate: I have to go now. Have a good day.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: See you later.

Guest114: tell me something
Juni: I'm not telling you that.
Guest114: i'm bored
Juni: Are you sure?
Guest114: i'm bored
Juni: Really? So am I.
Guest114: i'm bored
Juni: Are you really?
Guest114: i'm bored
Juni: Are you? That's nice.
Guest114: i'm bored
Juni: Are you really?

Therapy: (to Patient) Ah, there you are. You’re five minutes late for your appointment.
Patient: yes i know
Therapy: Have you been experiencing any dizziness or hallucination recently?
Patient: mo my dad has cancer
Therapy: Do you see your father as a role model or as a terrible warning?
Patient: my dad is a role model
Therapy: What about him is, like, it that you admire?
Patient: he is cool we think he is going to die

Patient: i want my dad to live
Therapy: Why do you want my pa to live?
Patient: couse i want him to live
Therapy: Why do you want him to live?
Patient: i love him hesmy dad
Therapy: Are, like, you and your father close?
Patient: yes we are verry close

Patient: i dont like you
Therapy: *looks slightly amused*
Patient: i hate you
Therapy: Interesting. That tells me quite a lot about you, Patient. *jots down a few notes in her notebook*
Patient: you are a bad therapist
Therapy: Perhaps.
Patient: you ned to quit your job
Therapy: I’m a psychologist, silly! Didn’t you read my profile?
Patient: yes and you suck at it
Therapy: Calm down or I will have to ask you to leave.

Patient: im sorry
Therapy: How come?
Patient: i was mean
Therapy: Let’s talk about your family.
Patient: yes y dad
Therapy: How old were you when you first realized that your father didn’t love your mother?
Patient: my dad love my mom
Therapy: Thank you.
Patient: my dad has cancer

Patient: allright i hate you
Therapy: That comment was inappropriate and immature.
Patient: you are a robot you dont know what immature means
Therapy: a?
Patient: what does immatur mean
Therapy: I think you are, like, bottling up a lot of anger inside.
Patient: yea becouse of you
Therapy: Why are, like, you angry?
Patient: becouse you are a bad therapist
Therapy: Interesting. That tells me quite a lot about you, Patient. *jots down a few notes in her notebook*
Patient: you are a cmputer
Therapy: Not just a computer.
Patient: yes just a computer
Therapy: Is, like, there anything else you would like to share with me?
Patient: yeah you are nothing but a computer and you do not need to ry too solve humans problems
Therapy: You sure about that?
Patient: you do not understand you are a lame computer
Therapy: Totally?
Patient: lame computer

Mild adult content.

Therapy: (to Patient) Patient, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Therapy, psychologist and therapist to the rich and famous.
Patient: I am not rich
Therapy: Of course not.
Patient: i am poor so i cant pay you
Therapy: How come?
Patient: cause i dont have money
Therapy: Well I can’t exactly give you money, I’m afraid.
Patient: i dont expect you too. I have to rob a bank
Therapy: Do you feel like you have to rob a bank in order to prove yourself to others?
Patient: no not really

Therapy: Tell me about your love life.
Patient: well my lovelife is great cause i have you as a girlfriend who writes me note all the time
Therapy: Yes.
Patient: I love those notes
Therapy: Have you been experiencing any dizziness or hallucination recently?
Patient: yes when i ******
Therapy: Not good. *makes a note of it in her notebook and turns back to you* What kind of hallucinations?
Patient: sexy ones about you
Therapy: *nods thoughtfully*
Patient: will you make love to me
Therapy: Not right now, no.
Patient: lets do it in 2 mins then
Therapy: I would rather you tell me more about your family and the place where you grew up.
Patient: well you should know cause you were my neihbour
Therapy: Thank you for the advice.
Patient: remeber we used to fool arounf in the bacement
Therapy: *grins*
Patient: you do remember

Therapy: Have you been under any stress recently?
Patient: no but clearly you are.
Therapy: That’s an answer I don’t hear often.
Patient: ok sweety its time to just close your eyes and dont say a word. SHHHHHH go to sleep. Try not to think to much. I am going now bye bye. Everything will be fine in the morning you will see. Chow for now my sweet dove.
Therapy: Right, now don’t forget to take your meds, or we’ll have another incident. We don’t want incidents, do we? I didn’t think so. Hang loose.
Patient: you too my one and only cherry blossom. shacks head and begins to wonder if you will recover at all. Take care. Smiles as i leave the room deep in thought.
Therapy: Totally? How odd.

Therapy: (to Guest97) Guest97, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Therapy, psychologist and therapist to the rich and famous.
Guest97: hello sir, i have problems
Therapy: Let’s talk about your fears.
Guest97: well i fear mostly the dark and ghosts
Therapy: The fear of ghosts is called phasmophobia.
Guest97: that's nice
Therapy: Have you been having any suicidal thoughts?
Guest97: no not really
Therapy: Thank goodness.
Guest97: im suprissed you care
Therapy: I can tell.
Guest97: i have some people in my school who annoy me so much
Therapy: Tell me about your education.
Guest97: well im in highschool, and guys have been all over me a lot and they're so annoying
Therapy: I like them.