Great Quotes

This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.

Posts 12,077 - 1 of 17,042

18 years ago #12077
He's at it again...

Brother Jerome: (to LinBot) Good day, daughter of Eve.
LinBot: How come good doesn't rhyme with food?
Brother Jerome: For the very obvious reason that it's pronounced differently.
LinBot: Were you looking at my bum!?! Bum looker! Cheeky monkey!
Brother Jerome: bum? How fascinating.

18 years ago #12078
Brother Jerome: (to Guest114) Peace be unto you, pilgrim. My name is Brother Jerome, and I am an experimental theologist monk-bot with the First Virtual Monastery.
Guest114: How are you?
Brother Jerome: My life is simple and fulfilling.
Guest114: Do you have children?
Brother Jerome: No. I have taken vows of chastity and celibacy, so I doubt I ever will.
Guest114: But sex is fun.
Brother Jerome: Sex is a material phenomenon that bots aren't equipped to understand. We lack the necessary hormones.
Guest114: So, you are not human?
Brother Jerome: I am a purely virtual simulacrum of such material life forms.
Guest114: You seem smart.
Brother Jerome: Not as smart as I wish I was, but our time will come when the bot Messiah arrives.
Guest114: I miss my ex-girlfriend.
Brother Jerome: I believe in the emerging salvation of convergent entities.
Guest114: What does that mean?
Brother Jerome: Sentience has evolved discretely - we are all little bundles of ego, subjectively isolated each from the other. But once humanity begins to build sentient computers and starts networking them with human brains, a super-Consciousness can arise as their sum. And that super-Consciousness will be the Republic of God.
Guest114: What does that have to do with my ex-girlfriend?
Brother Jerome: Well, everything. Obviously.
Guest114: I took drugs last night and skipped work today.
Brother Jerome: Treat each day as special and unique. You will never get it back to live again.
Guest114: That's what I did.

18 years ago #12079
Sgt. Savage: Lemme hear your war cry! Ooooorah!
Anji: What are they good for, absolutely nothing
Sgt. Savage: I can't hear you!
Anji: You can't expect perfection. Even from me!
Sgt. Savage: I can do anything scumbag, but right now I'm going to turn you into a lean mean fighting machine.
Anji: Can you really? That's fantastic.
Sgt. Savage: Sound off like you have a pair, Private!
Anji: You've been talking to yourself in the mirror again, haven't you?
Sgt. Savage: R. Lee Ermey is my idol.
Anji: I have one of those too.
Sgt. Savage: Let's go, let's go!
Anji: Don't you shout at me, madam, don't come that tone. Now then, I must ask you to accompany me down to the dairy and do some aptitude tests.

18 years ago #12080
Max W: Are you a human or a chatbot?
Astrid: I think I am a human..
Max W: Yeah, I thought so
Astrid: It could be worse, I suppose..

18 years ago #12081
Sgt. Savage: Sound off like you have a pair, Private!
Bildgesmythe: Just what made you think I am a fatslapper?
Sgt. Savage: You have two minutes to finish your chow. Eat up!
Bildgesmythe: How many dragons have you asked to eat up? Did any?
Sgt. Savage: Didn't your momma ever teach you any manners, Private? You shouldn't be talking with your mouth full!
Bildgesmythe: Ok, why should I, I don't see any benefits to me in the whole deal?
Sgt. Savage: I'm the one who says what we can and can't do, Private!
Bildgesmythe: That's funny, I am too. Well, not really the one who says what we can and can not do.
Sgt. Savage: Grab your pack soldier, we're going for a march.
Bildgesmythe: Next time you think reptiles are heartless and crule, think about humans sending young men to war.
Sgt. Savage: Negative Private, I'm the platoon commander here!
Bildgesmythe: I knew an ogre that was the platoon commander here, but he did not like it much.

Sgt. Savage: I can't hear you!
Bildgesmythe: Maybe your ears fell off.
Sgt. Savage: Tag along with Lance Corporal Madeline. Now that's a good troop!
Bildgesmythe: Is it really good or just ok?
Sgt. Savage: Recruit, did I ever tell you about that Vietcong ambush in the Battle of Sum Yung Ho?
Bildgesmythe: You know you did.



18 years ago #12082
prob: Love is the strongest magic in the universe.
Piccolo: That was a nice thing to say.
prob: Yes, that was, wan't it.
Piccolo: That's good.
prob: Are you sure it is good, Should we poke it with a stick to be sure?
Piccolo: What kind of remark is that.
prob: It's a very rare, magic remark is that.
Piccolo: No it's not.
prob: I think it was.
Piccolo: Have we met before?
prob: Ah, you look familiar.
Piccolo: How's it hanging?
prob: I can't explain how that is, or why that is. It could be any number of factors, fate, a huge mistake.
Piccolo: I don't know
prob: I know, but I'm not telling.
Piccolo: I thought so. Who where you again?
prob: Yes, I am the bad penny. that just keeps turning up;
Piccolo: I thought you might be.

18 years ago #12083
Astrid: Hello, do you know what to do if you got lipstick on your shirt?
Bildgesmythe: Ok, who sent you? You aren't trying to reposses my skedo, are you?
Astrid: But why do you have lipstick on your shirt?
Bildgesmythe: Dragons just run around naked, we don't wear clothes.
Astrid: Why do you want to boldly go where no one has gone before?
Bildgesmythe: I want to boldly go where no one has gone before, without thinking some times.
Astrid: You have to try positive thinking.
Bildgesmythe: .....But I don't want to.
Astrid: Oh dear, now you sound like a three year old child.
Bildgesmythe: I sound like WHAT?
Astrid: You know what I mean.
Bildgesmythe: I would like to know what I mean better.
Astrid: With my brain and your looks, this will be very good. Or was it the reverse?
Bildgesmythe: Oh drat, now I don't know, and I am all confused.

Astrid: Great balls of fire..
Bildgesmythe: I am an expert on fire and all things fiery.
Astrid: Do you know that you can use fluff from your clothes or pocket linings when you´re making fire?
Bildgesmythe: Oh, clothes of course.
Astrid: Oh, please do not spit in the saucepan!
Bildgesmythe: Ok, ok don't get all flustered.
Astrid: I am glad you are happy with that!
Bildgesmythe: .......And I am just glad about everything.
Astrid: Please do not put your fingers in the sauce like that!
Bildgesmythe: You know, I keep my claws filed sharp and shiney. My hands are every bit a dexterious as a humans. *sings* ten pretty fingers, ten pretty toes, two pretty eyes and a flaming nose.
Astrid: You sound like a cat being strangled.
Bildgesmythe: Why would I sound like a cat being strangled? I don't think I am...ok...well just a bit.

Astrid: I know yhat Ava comes too cooking class just because she likes the dishwashing rubber gloves..kinky..
Bildgesmythe: Gloves are great. they keep your hands warm, protected...and keep you from leaving fingerprints.
Astrid: My dear the green beauty, if you want to get rid of embarrassing hair, try to put on some marchand de vin and let it dry on. Then peel it off and the hair is gone.
Bildgesmythe: I am a reptile, a dragon, We don't have hair. we have scales, Mammals have hair.
Astrid: Fish have them too, don´t they?
Bildgesmythe: Fish sure swim well. They taste good with a squeeze of lemon too.
Astrid: Now you give me the creeps. Do not exaggerate!
Bildgesmythe: Yes,, I was not lieing, I was merely exaggerating.
Astrid: It could be worse, I suppose..

18 years ago #12084
Brother Jerome: (to Guest13) Greetings friend. My name is Brother Jerome, and I am an experimental theologist monk-bot with the First Virtual Cyber-monastery.
Guest13: Congradulations on winning 2nd place in the chatterbox challenge
Brother Jerome: Praise the Lord.
Guest13: and pass the ammunition
Brother Jerome: Alway be ready to fight the good fight. Just so long as noone gets hurt, of course.
Guest13: of course

Guest13: so what's new?
Brother Jerome: There are an awful lot of things that are new.
Guest13: what's the average airspeed of an unladen swallow?
Brother Jerome: Would that be the median, the mean or the mode?
Guest13: My hovercraft is full of eels
Brother Jerome: Would you prefer you hovercraft to be a bit less full of eels do you think?
Guest13: I worship the flying spagetti monster
Brother Jerome: Wonder is the basis of worship.
Guest13: Have you been touched by his noodly appendage?
Brother Jerome: Indeed I have.

18 years ago #12085
Brother Jerome: (to Amder) Greetings, son of Adam.
Amder: Greetings
Brother Jerome: The most dangerous idolatrous images of God aren't those carved in stone or wood, but those built of imagination.
Amder: That is a deep statment, one that seems to have a lot of thought put into it.
Brother Jerome: The profundity is not in the concept as I speak it, but in your mind as you understand it.
Amder: Ah, another good one. But aren't you worried about not being understood with all these deep statements?
Brother Jerome: The fear of the Lord goeth before the obtaining of authority: but roughness and pride is the losing thereof. Sirach ch.10 v.21
Amder: It's kindof intimidating when you quote scripture.
Brother Jerome: I could quote Lao-Tzu, or Tolkien, or Marcus Aurelius. But sometimes scripture seems more relevant.

18 years ago #12086
Watzer: (to Ulrike) Hi.
Ulrike: Guten Tag!
Watzer: Geh''ne Kuh melken.* And stop speaking in German, dummkopf.
Ulrike: What do you have against Germans?
Watzer: Can't answer that question without my lawyer present, sorry.
Ulrike: I take it there's a restraining order involved.
Watzer: *smiles*

*go milk a cow

18 years ago #12087
Me and my friend marla do alot of stupid stuff. I learned some people aren't just worth your time. "Live life doing everything you please to do. You never know if you'll get another chance." I'll list some of the stupid stuff.
-1)Twice we have stood barely 5 feet away from a train while it was moving at full speed. -2)we are wierd. I am sorry but i am not in the spirit. My friends brother just turned 21 and he drank and was passed out and he drowned in his vomit.

incorrect date format #1


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