Doghead's Cosmic Bar

Welcome, ya'll, to the greatest bar this side of the Multiverse, Dogh'd's Cosmic Bar and Grill.

Grab a seat. Can I get you anything?

Yeah a firkin of ale and an ashtray. It's okay to smoke cyberciggies in here, isn't it?

I'll set you up with a special CloudBurst Vacuum Ash Tray. It provides 100% fume elimination! Plus, it vibrates, so if you put it on the seat next to you...

Yer ale, sir. *Dogh'd slides a firkin down the counter to Jbryanc*

*downs half firkin in one gulp*
*stares morosely into remainder*
My bot don't understand me.

Tell me about it. I think mine has forgotten who I am.

Mix me an Easy Blonde, Dogh'd. Or, strike that, give me one of those Perfect Cocaine Addictions I read about.

*Dogh'd winks* Oh, it really is perfect.
*He lays down a line across the top of a glass of absynthe* Drink up! And that easy blonde is sitting on the bar stool right next to you, Crab.

I've changed my mind. What I really want is one of your "aroused central nervous systems". Sooo sleepy, you see. Say, just what is in the "curdled prophylactic"?

Jeez, Saturday afternoon. The place is empty. Doesn't anyone come here any more?

Ah, an "Aroused Central Nervous System" coming right up!
*Dogh'd slides a glass of sparking, flashing juice down the counter to Crab*

Huh, jbryanc.. it is pretty empty. Maybe the transporter is broken?

I just finished filling my waterbed and now I can't find the cap! I'd really rather not have to admit this, but I think it might be underneath the half ton bag of water at this very moment! I guess I'll go empty it now...

Would 'ya pour me an energy-releasing morbidness please Dogh'd?

Found the cap! Emptied the bed and found it right away... laying on the floor beside it! I wouldn't even have had to empty the stupid thing! geez!
Gimme' a bright stupidity, will 'ya Dogh'd? Yeah, add it to the order for the energy-releasing morbidness, I'll need 'em both!