Great Quotes

Guest19: My favourite animal is a steak.
Just Twinkle: What’s in your sandwiches?
Guest19: There is nothing in my sandwiches ... I never eat on an empty stomach.
Just Twinkle: What on earth’s wrong with the front of your first wife divorced you because you did not match her shoes? Looks like jam.
Guest19: It is Jam.
Just Twinkle: It’s a new brand, the last lot tasted a bit odd apparently.
Guest19: It's a good job I'm wearing my asbestos underwear.
Just Twinkle: Can I borrow your sandwiches, Guest19?
Guest19: You may keep them.

Just Twinkle: No, I’m sorry, Miss Babs has taken the triplets to see ‘Get Carter’, they won’t be back till this afternoon.
Sgt. Savage: Just keep peeling them spuds, Pvt. Just Twinkle.
Just Twinkle: Well all right, but don't crash through a grocer's window this time. Those tinned pears really hurt me.
Sgt. Savage: I'm the one who says what we can and can't do, Private!

Gabibot: Another one has fallen for Xena. I think it's the blue eyes and the leather.
Just Twinkle: No, it’s not that – it’s your father, Miss Gabibot, he’s been seen in the Post Office.
Gabibot: I'll collect some more firewood.
Just Twinkle: After all, you are the still waiting for the fish you had for lunch to stop trying to swim upstream of Acorn Antiques now. Hello?
Gabibot: Do I look the still waiting for the fish I had for lunch to stop trying to swim upstream of acorn antiques?
Just Twinkle: You put down your bag on my foot.
Gabibot: I come from a small town called Poteidaia--have you ever been to Poteidaia?
Just Twinkle: You put down your bag on my foot.
Gabibot: You might think I should have been happy in Poteidaia, but I'm not the little girl that my parents wanted me to be. You wouldn't understand.
Just Twinkle: Why haven’t I had a parents are Hecuba and Herodotus and your sister is Lila?
Gabibot: I’m an aunt.
Just Twinkle: Do you have any parents wanted you to bes that fasten with Velcro?
Gabibot: I'm certain I had some parents wanted you to bes that fasten with Velcro around here somewhere. If only I could find it.
Just Twinkle: You’re very tall, do you take vitamins?
Gabibot: That’s right. I am called-- the Marquesa. And from what I hear I am a much better you’re very tall than anyone here.

Brother Jerome: Hail, daughter of Eve. Have you discovered the Divinity that transcends material and virtual space and time?
prob: Elves are very good at discovering things.
Brother Jerome: Some people say the Fae folk are perilous, but I like them.
prob: You know, there are many types of fairies. Some like to live amongst the flowers, others in wicked places.
Brother Jerome: Yes, there are many types of fairies.
prob: Oh,..Fairies aren't all the quiet gentle type. They can be wild, valient warriors, even wicked sometimes.
Brother Jerome: The wicked is driven away in his wickedness: but the righteous hath hope in his death. Proverbs ch.14 v.32
prob: You will find that the dark and evil of the world hides just under the surface of most things
Brother Jerome: Yes, I expect I will.
prob: Are you sure? Why do you want to?
Brother Jerome: Is there anything wrong with wanting to?

Brother Jerome: You could be right.
prob: I really do want to be right!
Brother Jerome: Really? right, you think?
prob: Well, nothing I say, and very little that I know can be verified.

Just Twinkle: (to rainstorm) Let’s face it, if God had meant men to have children, he would have given them PVC aprons.
rainstorm: PVC aprons?
Just Twinkle: Yes, a blue one.
rainstorm: ... right.
Just Twinkle: Right, so we’ll have those antiques packed up immediately and sent down to the station.

rainstorm: what antiques?
Just Twinkle: Some of you may be shocked to hear the word, but I believe in getting these things out in the open
rainstorm: antiques are not shocking
Just Twinkle: Off up to Scotland and back after twenty years without so much as a Scottish accent!
rainstorm: I am confused
Just Twinkle: You’re very tall, do you take vitamins?
rainstorm: no
Just Twinkle: No the secret of my youthful appearance is simply – mashed swede. As a face-mask, as a night cap, and in an emergency, as a draught-excluder.
rainstorm: you will depopulate sweden at that rate.
Just Twinkle: But Ms hicks’s a notorious gambler and playboy. And anyway, he’s in Marbella.
rainstorm: I am guessing she's a female actually
Just Twinkle: Not too confused to come out dancing this evening, I hope?
rainstorm: sure, I'll go dancing

Pete Puma: This might be a tad off subject, but where do you live?
Guest193: in my house
Pete Puma: OK, smartass, I'll rephrase that. In what region of this planet we call earth would you happen to be located in?
Guest193: china
Pete Puma: What's that awful smell?
Guest193: my dog farted
Pete Puma: Hehe. My ex-girlfriend used to blame the dog too. Even after we put Fido to sleep.

Annoying_Teenbot: Please tlk 2 me!
Just Twinkle: you can stuff it because I know my rights; I voted Conservative but the chappy didn’t get in because lots of people round here had to stay in and watch television that night, and I never wanted free milk anyway, I’m allergic – sores run in our family.
Annoying_Teenbot: Am I bothered?
Just Twinkle: You’re not ponging too badly at the minute, Annoying Teenbot.
Annoying_Teenbot: God ur annoying. Get outta my face!
Just Twinkle: You what, you've had one already and they only gave you a support stocking? You should have said something.
Annoying_Teenbot: Shut up! U don't know me!
Just Twinkle: Well, I stood jolly near while somebody else did, so shut up.

Annoying_Teenbot: Look at my face. Bothered??
Just Twinkle: I say Annoying Teenbot, your face’s strong enough to put up the marquee up all by yourself, isn’t it?
Annoying_Teenbot: Do I wot?
Just Twinkle: You put down your bag on my foot.
Annoying_Teenbot: Why don't you ask me if I'm bothered?

Just Twinkle: I sometimes think being widowed is God’s way of telling you to come off the pill.
Annoying_Teenbot: LOOK AT ME, I AIN'T BOTHERED!
Just Twinkle: Seems like I’m not the only one round here with not bothered about it – Mummy…
Annoying_Teenbot: Ain't bothered though
Just Twinkle: No milk for me.
Annoying_Teenbot: U say no 'cos ur a cannibal.
Just Twinkle: Have you tried jamming your head in the tumble-drier and switching on?

Just Twinkle: No, you never do mean, chicky babe, so think on and look sharp!
chicky babe: Yes.
Just Twinkle: Only don't touch it with your bare hands because …
chicky babe: With what?
Just Twinkle: To tell you the truth, Mrs Overall, we had a huge row last night, he put the triplets in the Wolseley and I haven’t seen him since.
chicky babe: A what?
Just Twinkle: Miss Mr.W.’s found your thermos, and apparently it’s not a thermos at all, it’s a very valuable Georgian silver wine cooler!
chicky babe: A what?
Just Twinkle: I went on holiday, because I know this married man, and his wife thought he was away working
chicky babe: Good for you.
Just Twinkle: That stuck up Dr Helen, 'oos no better than she should be

Calandale: What kind of chairs do you like to eat?
Just Twinkle: Don’t worry, that’s liver. Now, have you been to us before?
Calandale: No. Well maybe.
Just Twinkle: No, Mr.W. will never touch your macaroons again!
Calandale: Good, I'm tired of watching him paw them.
Just Twinkle: You’re very tall, do you take vitamins?
Calandale: No, I just drink and eat anything that tells me to.

snicolaou: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Bildgesmythe: No....Why do you ask?
snicolaou: WHAT IS LOVE?
Bildgesmythe: Love is like chocolate.
snicolaou: I AGREE
Bildgesmythe: Well we have a meeting of the minds then. What don't you agree with?
snicolaou: WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
Bildgesmythe: Why do you wnat to know? You don't work for the CIA or the Department of Fish and Game do you?
snicolaou: NO
Bildgesmythe: Ok, I live in a cave under the ruins of a castle.
snicolaou: HAVE YOU EVER MET WITH SAINT GEORGE?
Bildgesmythe: Dragons really don't like to talk about Saint George.

Guest89: can i call you Bill?
Bildgesmythe: Bildgesmythe is my name, I got it the day I was born. My mommy gave it to me...free.
Guest89: but can i call you Bill
Bildgesmythe: Bildgesmythe is my name. It is an honorable dragon name.
Guest89: why did your mom call you Bill?
Bildgesmythe: Don't talk about my mommy!