Doghead's Cosmic Bar

You're whipped. She says "jump" you say "how high honey?" Blech.

That went right over my head!!! *throws knife and buries it in your back* May not kill ya, but it gets the point across.

Yes. My advice would be to not sit under a dart board next time.

*little guy runs in and announces "The goddess has arrived!" and drops to his knees in a sign of worship as I walk in.*
That's right boys. I'm back. First person to buy me a drink will be spared. Last person will be sent to the gallows.
I would have been on sooner, but my internet went haywire.

Come on. Really?

You just BLEW any chance of me getting you a drink.

*Throws dart at dart board*

Guard?! Send this thing *points to Gordon* to the gallows. He has a dawn appointment with a rope necklace.
Anyone else care to disobey the goddess? Keep in mind that all woman and children are safe. I will not harm the innocent. And before you bring up the knife to donna's throat thing, I said it was a fake blade.She was in no harm. It was ruse to make you lose.

Good one.
*picks up "guard" and holds him against a wall. *
"sure you wanna do this buddy? I wouldn't if I were you. *

*runs into the bar shooting a BAR at a safe time slip* you ain't gonna get me you jerry bastards! Oh sorry erm did I disturb anything *putting my feet on the table, the mud dripping off my boots, oiling up a sten gun and after that cleaning my BAR (M1918)* well that was one hella' trip their.

*puts a 308. round to the guards head from my BAR* no need Gordon I got the bastard

Gordon, johno141, big mistake.
He's a lycan. As in lycanthropy. Shape shifter to the less intelligent ones. Unless that was pure 100% silver, all you did was piss him off. See? He's getting back up and trembling. I would run. He's about to change. Only I can stop him from tearing you to pieces. Anything you'd like to say to me?

Btw, I have a weapons specialist working on making a personalized weapon for me. It's going to be made to destroy archangels and anything else in it's path. You are made for light, made up of light, purity in a way. This will be darkness. I point it at you and squeeze the trigger, you are done. It will drain all light, pulling you down to darkness. You will not be able to come bck from that. Unless I call you. I can take you away and I can bring you back. This is some of my powers. When we fought, I fought like a human. I held back. Want to know what I can do? Fight me and find out. You will be sorry though. I am extemely powerful.

Why are there darts sticking out of the ceiling fan, and who left all these half-finished bottles of Bud Light laying around?

This is why we can't have nice things...