Doghead's Cosmic Bar

*zzzz....*

Sits down at bar. Stuck next to Gordon Freeman.

Screw off.

I'm sorry, you were the one who taught me how to. Your advice didn't work; this was you for the last three godd---ed years.

Zzz....

You're such a self centered kid that, unlike me, you can't admit that you f---ed up.

Zzz....

You act like you don't give a s--t, but I know you. You're the kid who tormented me day in, day out throughout middle school, to the point where I questioned suicide. You took every single god d---ed word someone said to you to heart, then just when home and told every single last word to your mom: in your defense. You twisted every word around, making everyone else the jacka--, when in reality, you were f---ing with people's lives, and they were just retaliating.

Sounds like a personal problem.

For you, maybe.

To everyone else, it's bullying.

Not me. You started all of this.