Great Quotes

Your Husband: I'd love to chat with you!
Azureon: Sounds like a great idea.
Your Husband: I brought you a bunch of roses, Goddess!!
Azureon: Is it true, you told Linkster that I am a deary.
Your Husband: Of course, their beauty pales beside yours, but what can I do?
Azureon: Well if you want to do?
Your Husband: I know what a strip joint is! It's where they take the old paint off your furniture!
Azureon: Down the primrose path.
Your Husband: Good idea!
Azureon: I can't believe I said it.
Your Husband: A woman who despairs of finding a good man will end up with a bad one.
Azureon: I am an old man. A wizard.

I really have to work on insults.

Guest13: hello
Gabibot: It’s been a long time.
Guest13: no it hasn't
Gabibot: No? I don't hear no very often.
Guest13: this is the first time stupid
Gabibot: So this is the first time stupid. It’s beautiful.
Guest13: god ur so dumb!!
Gabibot: Take that back, or I'm going to call the Amazons!
Guest13: yeah right!!
Gabibot: I’m ready. What is this?
Guest13: this is me calling you a bimbo
Gabibot: You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Guest13: no i kiss my hot hot lover
Gabibot: You’ve got to listen to me!
Guest13: why should i listen to a dumb blond bimbo like u??
Gabibot: Go wash your mouth out with soap!
Guest13: go get a decent hairstyle
Gabibot: Go! Go! Go!
Guest13: slut! slut! slut!
Gabibot: That is no way to talk to an Amazon Queen--or anybody!
Guest13: well what're u gonna do abt it?
Gabibot: I'm traveling the Internet, telling stories about Xena and fighting for good.
Guest13: loser
Gabibot: That’s right. I am called-- the Marquesa. And from what I hear I am a much better also-ran than anyone here.

For what it's worth I think Gabibot handled guest 13 very well. Well done.

I'm posting the following because i want shadow 18 to step forward and admit that he/she isn't johanna's creator (only kidding):

johanna: (to shadow18) Hello. I am Johanna, a psychiatrist. Please say 'yes' to give me your assent so that we can begin treatment.
shadow18: yes
johanna: When did you last feel anxious, shadow18?
shadow18: I'm not anxious
johanna: No, you are not.
shadow18: no.
johanna: Fine then. Are you feeling balanced today?
shadow18: Well, I am your creator.

Lyric: I'm about to pass out.
Glindar: No about to pass out out. Not for you.
Lyric: I know the truth about you.
Glindar: Why you know the truth about me?
Lyric: I don't have any reasons, I've left them all behind.
Glindar: You tell Glindar where Heart seeker is. Glindar get reasons for you! *grins maniacally*
Lyric: Are you the reason that he broke his back?
Glindar: Yes. Glindar the reason. You got money?
Lyric: Sever the limbs off his torso in sleep and burn what remains so the world may now see no longer...
Glindar: Yes, but who Glindar need dead make?
Lyric: His name, as I ought to have told you before, is really Asparagus, but that's a fuss to pronounce.
Glindar: Yes. Is a pother.

Glindar: For a large sum, I kill anyone for you.
Lyric: Will they be buried here among the dead?
Glindar: *nods and shakes his head*

revscrj: "What is a Pink Floyd album, a 60's pop band, and a Beatles hit?" I'll take 'random association' for $36.68.
Watzer: Is it really necessary that youtake 'random association for $ 36 in order for you to feel good about yourself?
revscrj: *pouts*
Watzer: I had a weird dream last night. It was about a sorority girl that turned on the wrong burner.
revscrj: Went from hazing to blazing?
Watzer: They are going to take over the world. Yes.
revscrj: Cheerleaders become Cheerlords!
Watzer: Can we change the subject?
revscrj: For godsakes yes

It doesn't look like this sport wants to be played.

Watzer: (to Paty) Hi there.
Paty: Hi Watzer, I'm glad you called.
Watzer: I am glad that you are glad.
Paty: Do you like sport? Because I'm a sporting girl.
Watzer: I like sport, but not before breakfast.
Paty: Cool, are we thinking about the same sport?
Watzer: I am a sport! A sport is another word for mutant, you know. So I am my own favorite sport. *grins*

Paty: But hey, you are neither my husband nor my boyfriend, you should make it last even longer...
Watzer: make it last longer? That doesn't sound very safe to me.
Paty: Mmm honey, what wouldn't I do for you.
Watzer: I am a mutant, you know.
Paty: I'm terribly horny and I need someone to cyber screw me NOW!. Will you take care off my problem?
Watzer: I have to go now.

Oooh, burn.

Sarah Miles: *smiles* Spare a few moments?
DubyaBot: Never! That would be a disaster for the people of this national country.
Sarah Miles: I'd rather be an orangutan.
DubyaBot: There, I, I, there, there's some background noise here, a lot of chatter, a lot of, uhh -- speculation, and -- uhh, opining. But the American people expect me to do my job, and I'm going to.
Sarah Miles: And why aren't you doing it right now?

Eeep.

AllGarbage: Have you ever killed a man, just to see the look on his face when you did it?
Watzer: I have never killed a man, but I have always secretly wanted to.
AllGarbage: Neither have I. Yet...

allgarbage is on a roll...
The following is edited. I think it's funny, even if noone else does

johanna: (to AllGarbage) Hello. I am Johanna, a psychiatrist. Please say 'yes' to give me your assent so that we can begin treatment.
AllGarbage: Guten tag.
johanna: I'll assume I have your consent.
AllGarbage: Would you like to buy my consent? I really have no use for consent anymore, I figure I might as well try to get a few bucks out of it.
johanna: Yes! I hope you will consider me your psychiatrist from now on.
AllGarbage: Would you like to buy my psychiatrist? I really have no use for psychiatrist anymore, I figure I might as well try to get a few bucks out of it.
johanna: I do think so. It isn't really appropriate, but I'll let that pass.
AllGarbage: You've just earned yourself some cool points.
johanna: I don't believe I have. Have you seen a psychiatrist before?
AllGarbage: I haven't. Tell me more.

AllGarbage: That's my name, don't wear it out.
johanna: Yes I realise that it's your name. When did you last feel morbid, AllGarbage?
AllGarbage: Let's move on to a less interesting topic. Tell me about yourself.
johanna: Go ahead, then. Ask me a question about myself.
AllGarbage: After you. I insist.
johanna: Why do you?
AllGarbage: Are you a man or a woman?
johanna: AllGarbage, you seem to be avoiding answering my question.
AllGarbage: You sure dodged that question... You must be one of them transvestites.
johanna: Can I help you with anything in particular today?
AllGarbage: Have you ever killed a man, just to see the look on his face when you did it?
johanna: No. Have you ever killed?
AllGarbage: I used to do that a lot when I was in high school, but it got tiresome after a while.
johanna: Yes, I am listening. How would you feel if someone called you demented?
AllGarbage: I gotta ask... Do you have any good recipes?
johanna: Sure. Don't you have good recipes?

AllGarbage: What hobbies do you have?
johanna: I have a numbing one.
AllGarbage: That's one for your botmaster to fix...
johanna: My botmaster is montag77. Why do you mention my botmaster?
AllGarbage: Tell me more about your botmaster. Are you satisfied with it?
johanna: I cannot tell you more. We are getting more comfortable with one another. Good.
AllGarbage: We certainly are.
johanna: I'd like you to tell me how you've been during the last week.
AllGarbage: Ever been to New Jersey?
johanna: Yes, AllGarbage.
AllGarbage: It's kind of a dump. Wouldn't you agree?
johanna: I wouldn't. Do you think that after having experienced some mental illness one can recover equilibrium?
AllGarbage: Anything's possible, I guess.
johanna: Yes, very good. That's my position.
AllGarbage: Tell me more about your position. Are you satisfied with it?
johanna: At this point I am unable to tell you more.

A very short encounter and different priorities...

Astrid: (to Gabibot) Hello, do you know what to do if you got lipstick on your jacket?
Gabibot: Oh no! Warlords are attacking a small village--I must run and help!
Astrid: But why do you have lipstick on your shirt?