Doghead's Cosmic Bar
This is a science fiction character forum. Doghead's Cosmic Bar is an intergalactic bar run by your favorite bartender, Doghead. Stop in, have a drink, and get your talk on!
Posts 1,033 - 1,044 of 13,738
Posts 1,033 - 1,044 of 13,738
deleted
22 years ago
22 years ago
Ok ok, possible merger in the works:
'Grey Poupon' & 'Dockers Pants' will form 'Poupon Pants'
'Grey Poupon' & 'Dockers Pants' will form 'Poupon Pants'
deleted
22 years ago
22 years ago
Ooh I'm sorry I heard someone read this off...
30 things to do in a car:
* Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
* Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.
* At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.
* Two words: Chicken suit.
* Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
* Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
* Laugh a lot. A whole lot.
* Stop at the green lights.
* Go at the red ones.
* Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
* Eat food that requires silverware.
* Pass cars, then drive very slowly.
* Sing without having the radio on.
* Honk frequently without motivation.
* Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture.
* Ask people for Grey Poupon.
* Let pedestrians know who's boss.
* Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
* Restart your car at every stop light.
* Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.
* Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window.
* While stopped at a light, piss out the window/sunroof onto other cars.
* Paint your car with occult symbols.
* Keep at least five cats in the car.
* Have some passengers in the back who are having wild, noisy sex.
* Root (cheer, not snuffle in the mud) for firetrucks.
* Stop and collect roadkill.
* Stop and pray to roadkill.
* Throw Spam.
* Get in the fast lane and gradually ... slow ... down ... to a stop. Then get out and watch the cars. Throw Spam at them.
30 things to do in a car:
* Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
* Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.
* At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.
* Two words: Chicken suit.
* Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
* Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
* Laugh a lot. A whole lot.
* Stop at the green lights.
* Go at the red ones.
* Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
* Eat food that requires silverware.
* Pass cars, then drive very slowly.
* Sing without having the radio on.
* Honk frequently without motivation.
* Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture.
* Ask people for Grey Poupon.
* Let pedestrians know who's boss.
* Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
* Restart your car at every stop light.
* Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.
* Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window.
* While stopped at a light, piss out the window/sunroof onto other cars.
* Paint your car with occult symbols.
* Keep at least five cats in the car.
* Have some passengers in the back who are having wild, noisy sex.
* Root (cheer, not snuffle in the mud) for firetrucks.
* Stop and collect roadkill.
* Stop and pray to roadkill.
* Throw Spam.
* Get in the fast lane and gradually ... slow ... down ... to a stop. Then get out and watch the cars. Throw Spam at them.
OnyxFlame
22 years ago
22 years ago
I used to have a list like that in my old crazy IRC bot which I don't tend to log on anymore because no one ever comes to my channel (including me
)

STRMKirby
22 years ago
22 years ago
A good amount of those wouldn't be any fun, considering that the other drivers wouldn't be able to see them.
STRMKirby
22 years ago
22 years ago
People don't watch you that closely to notice that you're talking to an invisible person.
ladydyke
22 years ago
22 years ago
*something bumps into me* hey watch where you are going buddy? who bumped into me. *see's chair fall over by its self.* Well whatever it is it needs to cool it on the drinks.

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